Roswell says it’s the Dairy Capital of the World, not, like you might assume, the Crazy Capital. And though I searched and searched for true weirdness – people in aluminum-foil hats, cow mutilations – Roswell seemed pretty normal. Especially if you think normal is a Wal-Mart big enough to supply the entire town and a whole colony of aliens. Seriously, I considered one of those electric carts just to get to the auto department.
Maybe I was sheltered from the truly bizarre because I stayed at a bucolic campsite in Bottomless Lakes State Park, about ten miles south of town. I like lakes – they’re still, serene.
You know who else like lakes? Mosquitoes. You know what else they like? Me. I am biting-bug catnip. And though I had to stop myself from telling total strangers that the red bumps on my chin and forehead weren’t pimples, they were BUG BITES, because, you know, I WASH, I didn’t. I just walked around looking like a teenager in dire need of Clearasil and tried not to scratch.
You’ve probably heard of the Great (Possible, Maybe) Alien Visitation of 1947. Something silver crashed in the desert outside Roswell, which may have been a spaceship with real aliens, or maybe it was a weather balloon. No one knows for sure. But boy oh boy, do people want to believe it. (Me, included. No foil hat required.)
Believers and naysayers alike seem to agree there was a government cover-up of something – though it seems strange that The Government would feel a need to cover up a bad balloon landing.
No matter. Decide for yourself at Roswell’s International UFO Museum and Research Center, which has lots of official-looking documents and testimonies, grainy photographs, even dioramas and models to show what might have happened. (Admission is $5, and they’re open every day except Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Year’s. Even alien hunters need time with their families.)
How It Went Down
Top painting: “Study for Alien Hamlet”
I can’t remember what this had to do with aliens, but it scared me:
Don’t Let This Happen To You
And like any good town known primarily for one thing, Roswell business owners plaster those aliens everywhere, like this music store:
Not To Be Confused With That Other Band
The parking lot:
My dream? A sign with a tiny Scamp on it.
The check-cashing joint:
They Speak Alien *and* Spanish
Thirsty?
Coke Apparently Makes for Buff Aliens
This store was closed, but the window display remained:
Evidence
A drugstore:
I Want to Believe
But not Taco Bell. You’d think it’d be a prime advertising opportunity to have a poster with a cute green alien noshing on some nachos, but nope, this Taco Bell rebelled. Their posters featured the Endangered Rainforest and cuddly koalas, taking the “Make a Run for the Border” motto in a totally different direction: Costa Rica and Australia.
Arby’s nailed it though:
Do aliens eat beef? Cow mutilations confuse the issue.
And what about Roswell being the home to the renowned New Mexico Military Institute, a training ground for men and women who would happily cover up evidence of extraterrestrial life? Mere coincidence? I don’t think so.
But I’m wondering: Are they training soldiers, or medieval knights?
Turrets (or Tourette’s, depending how many times you say it.)
I’d be remiss if I didn’t document the dilapidated:
Roswell Trading Open 6 a.m.
And I’ll leave you with this, which sort of says it all:
Exactly.
More on Wednesday. See you then.
Back in ’02 we took a ten-day road trip to Colorado and back, making a big loop. On the way back to California we stayed at the Little Ale’Inn, a “motel” of sorts in Rachel, NV. $50/night to stay in a room in a single-wide trailer. Sounds terrible, right? The bed was comfortable, the A/C worked like a charm, and the proprietors were incredibly friendly (and served great food) – better than some of the expensive places we stayed on that trip. Bill and Brian were thrilled to drive up to the gate of Area 51 to look at the sign that said “Top Secret Military Facility, Keep Out, Use of Deadly force Authorized.” In fact, as soon as they approached the gate, a big black SUV came over the hill and headed right for them. Those people DO NOT want looky-loos. LOL You might want to give it a try the next time you’re in the mood for some alien interaction.
http://www.littlealeinn.com/
Dairy Capital of the SOUTHWEST. Maybe the universe too, but not the world. At least not yet.
Deborah – I’ve heard of that place, so thanks for the rec. I thought about walking up to the Area 51 fence, but wasn’t in the mood to get arrested. Though I know – Mulder would have! And seen unbelievable sights! Then been all sexy with Scully, but they wouldn’t even kiss! Sigh.
Scooter – Tough crowd! Just kidding. I stand corrected. I read it “world” but when you’re zipping by at whatever miles an hour, accuracy gets degraded a bit.
The X Files… what would Tea Leone think and they made such a wonderful couple.
The smoking man, scully and then the movie release. Now we have Fringe, they kiss on that show. And I like her voice so much better than the Blond on Medium.
How terrible am I to refer to Woman by just the color of their hair. I think its in somewhat in response to, Do I find Grovelling Sexy?, then without further reference and bacward refferal to a travelogue which is not neccesarily moving in a straight line, but assuredly moving forward in its narrative. Yes. In many ways in the town of Green people, I feel justified in labelling Blonds. Summer included.
Looking forward to the stargazing in Taos, I hope you don’t leave it out because its home, I haven’t been even though I have read a few headlines and classifieds from Taos, just to get a feel for the locale. I love the print media, its hyper local, even though I might find it on the internet, I believe it derives from the heart of a Newsprint journalist at heart.
Tusk – I’m clearly missing out by not having TV.
Two nights ago I looked out my bedroom window in the middle of the night and the stars seemed impossibly bright and close. I love living here.
Beauty of the world’s most wise to be enjoyed together. Our obligation is to preserve the nature to be enjoyed by children and grandchildren tomorrow. I like your article.
Tour and Travel – Thanks for joining us!
Sounds like you have quite an adventure going. Hope it stays weird and interesting.
Schooner Trash – Amen!
Hey Deonne,
Just found your site and love it! We’ve been eyeing a Scamp for a while now. Our neighbors down the road have one and I feel like they are teasing us by parking it on the street when not in use.
I hope you’ll head out to Rachel, NV someday. We stopped there and had alien burgers that did not taste like chicken, but regular old ground beef. Tasty alien!
Can’t wait to read more!
Manisha – Thanks for joining us! Rachel, NV for real alien burgers, check. And I know I’m totally biased but I’d say, buy that Scamp! I love mine – easy to tow, comfortable, and cute, an irresistible combo. (Speaking of irresistible, I checked out your blog – that is one beautiful baby!)